THE SEASIDE

2008 has gone in the right direction but very fast. So much has happened and i have been to so many places in this country that October has arrived. Where did it all go. But with everything reflection is good. 12 months ago i was washed up and no where to go. Thank the lord

AND ONCE YOU GET TO THE OTHER SIDE....

It is a wonderful place to be. On the other side of all your fears. To brave your own weaknesses is the best thing you can do. I am so glad i did this. I look back on my old life with small regret. Why didn't i do it sooner etc,. But i got here and i learn more each day than at any time before. I forget how bad i was. Someone told me recently that i looked 10 years younger. I may not have cheered up, but i feel satisfaction. You cant buy that like refuse sacks

LEAVING HARROGATE BOROUGH COUNCIL

The 31st of December 2007 saw another sort of miracle, in this, the most bizarre year of my life. I left the place had worked for  (in various different guises) for 19 years

This was the biggest risk i had ever taken. I have always been fond of comfort zones which is what the council was to me. You know what you were getting. Most of the work was shit, but you had friends around so it did not matter. Many thought i would never leave the council, including myself so to start work on the 2nd January 2008 in a completely new environment was odd and scary. I am told that i have done the right by many of my friends. I do feel proud, i feel like that shit is now behind me but the thing i have not grasped yet - is me actually doing something i said i would. I physically removed myself from my comfort zone and put. myself in a strange place. But its done and thank fuck for that


I BLAME IT ON FACEBOOK

Created myself an account on Facebook, Why? because everyone else had. No other reason than that. But met an old girlfriend on there, that i had not spoken to for 5 years. And from there, the rest is history. If you have no one else to blame, blame it on fACEBOOK

GETTING MY WHEELS BACK

I had spent 6 months walking and cycling everywhere after the break up of my marriage. In itself a good thing as it kept me fit. But when you needed to get away you could not. In september i got myself a car, not a Jag or a Porsche, but a Renault. Dont suppose it matters what it was, but never looked back after that. Where ever i wanted to go, i could and did. Ediinburgh, Holy island, Llandudno, Mow Cop, the seaside etc. The world was my laguna


GOING TO CYPRUS

Around August 2007 time, went to Cyprus with friends. The scenery was beautiful, the weather was very hot and i had the whole world at my feet. I took the puppy dog options and followed Helen around like a lost being. Stupid Bastard. What a waste of a fucking holiday


GOING TO NORWAY

Around April 2007 time, i was at a complete lost with myself. I did not know what i wanted to do with the rest of my life. A discussion with my wife of ex produced some inspiration.
She told me to do something that scared me. Washing was not that bad?. Then decided to apply for my expensive Passport, then booked a 3 day trip to Norway. On my own. As i clicked the PAY button on the DFDS website, i never actually thought i would do it. But i did in July 2007 (last week). I had a good time, generally struggled interacting with other people, but on the whole i can say i did something i always wanted to do. I never found myself though

REDISCOVERING OLD FRIENDS, MAKING NEW ONES

One good thing to come out of this year has been the re introduction of some friends, i had not spoken to for a long time. And they have been kind to me. We have had a laugh and
i just wanted to say thank you to the Swinnys and Bickerdikes of this world. Keep smiling eh

MONEY GRABBING BASTARDS

After the sad loss of my grandmother, the true colours of many became apparent, including my own blood. This entry is probably too vague but need to write it down and show it so certain people can read and digest.
My grandmother was a kind person and always thought of others before herself, till the day she died. All families have some sort of trauma and ours was the lack of love in some departments. My gran looked after my sister very well and vice versa. But it came to light that that trust was been violated, and the whole family erupted, quite rightly so. Now we are locked in a battle between what my Gran wanted and what others think they deserve. Well I tell you right now, you dont deserve shit

THE END OF MY MARRIAGE

All problems are relative, but this year has been hard. Me and my wife separated in February 2007, through no fault of hers. It was all mine. And now looking back, the reasons behind it, seem quite farcial.
I aint going into details, but i know i regret what i did. Have to wake up everyday and live with it. What makes it worse, is the life i have created for my children. I know i am a good father and i think my eldest two daughters have excepted it, but i am hard on myself. Sometimes the desire to turn back time is great. I am sorry to all i caused pain to

MY GRANNY PASSED AWAY

My life has taken a turn recently which was never for the best, but Monday morning (05.03.2007) just confirmed that life is here to test us all.My mother rang me to say my Granny had passed away in the night.
I felt so bad cos i had not seen her for 4 weeks. I felt worse for my children who would always walk into
into her room and make her feel better instantly. She was the backbone for our entire family and was the only one that did not complain. I shall miss you gran. You were a SAINT. Rest in Peace

A NEW YEAR

I hate New Years Eve. Always have. I would rather be asleep or in some far away country where no one knows me, that singing auld lang syne. But once the new year arrives, it does fill you with a desire to change things.
Now that is good. My tip for 2007. Eat Bananas.

CHRISTMAS is OVER

It is a nice time, but it's nice when it's over. All those tv adverts and companies we have to endure trying to sell us the world. And if you are really lucky, you will have amassed a large credit card bill to make your loved ones happy.
Was it all worth it eh

CHRISTMAS

Time to forget all the bullshit in our lives, all the politics around us, the stress we seem to depend on and general bad things

Time to enjoy Christmas

HOT WEATHER IN ENGLAND

The national pastime, talking about the friggin weather. But here is it. Our lives are so boring, it is all we have to talk about. And when the sun does actually comes out and creates a mediterranean feel, we are completely lost.
Oh my god, its hot. We can't handle that either. The English whinge and don't do much else